An Act of Rat-dom Kindness

A quick trip to Wal-mart for doggy chews and people shampoo resulted in a Christmas rodent that Amy and I will be laughing about for years to come.

Cagney the Christmas Rat

Just past the greeter and next to the checkout counters stood a Secret Santa tree covered with yellow tags. Handwritten on the tag at eye level was “Woman age 50 (wants) live pet rat; a female.”

“I’m pretty sure I know who that is,” Amy said.

A month ago, a woman living in a group home for the mildly mentally handicapped got her annual mammogram in the outpatient clinic where Amy is one of two Mammography techs. An hour or two before her scheduled appointment, Amy’s patient took her pet rat to the vet because it appeared to be sick. The diagnosis was the rat would need to be euthanized. At the time Amy was administering the exam, this woman’s sole family member was taking its first run on the rodent wheel of heaven.

Physically, the woman was fine. Emotionally, she was heart-broken.

“I’m sure this woman sat for hours petting that animal as it slept on her lap,” Amy said.

In other words, it was a “lap rat.”

We figured we could get a female rat at one of the three pet stores on the way home, but where would we keep it without either one of our cats getting to it first? After all, a gift of a dead rat to replace the pet rat who is also dead would not be very “Santa-like.” We also needed to buy a rat habitat.

In other words, we needed a “rat-itat.”

As I write this – six days before Christmas – little Cagney (temporarily named for Jimmy Cagney of “You dirty rat” fame) is sleeping peacefully under the bedding of her cage. Either tomorrow or the next day, we will hand Cagney over to the people running the Secret Santa drive, who will deliver Cagney - the Christmas Rat - to her real owner.

“She will be so happy,” Amy said of her patient friend, “and Cagney is one lucky rat.”

This is one impromptu gift we’ll never forget.

‘A-mayo-zing’ way to cook a turkey

My church - St. Luke's Episcopal in Prescott, Arizona - annually serves a home-cooked turkey dinner with all the trimmings on Christmas day. It's called Don't Spend Christmas Alone and is open to anyone. And it's free!
Word got out that I had worked at TV and radio stations and newspapers for 20 years, so I was asked to be (roped in to be?) Publicity Chairman.
The minister's wife manages the kitchen at Tim's Toyota Center sports arena in Prescott Valley. She arranged for the turkeys to be prepared and cooked by the kitchen's executive chefs. The following is an article I sent to the local newspaper to promote Don't Spend Christmas Alone. For those cooking this Christmas, maybe you'll want to try this.

Condiment makes Christmas turkeys golden

By Scott W.L. Daravanis

St. Luke’s Episcopal Church

Sous-chef Robert Lucero

For the past 30 years, St. Luke’s Episcopal Church members have baked and served beautiful golden brown turkeys during the annual Don’t Spend Christmas Alone dinner. This year, the centerpiece item will be more beautiful and more golden than ever.

The key ingredient is a simple condiment found in most everyone’s refrigerator.

The chefs at Tim’s Toyota Center have been preparing 100 donated turkeys since mid-November. Centerplate manages and operates the kitchen at Tim’s.

“We’re averaging 16 turkeys a day,” Executive Chef Michael A. Niemela said. “We’re carving turkeys while we’re cooking others.”

The process begins with a good, brisk rubdown with Montreal steak seasoning and mayonnaise.

“We sprinkle the seasoning over the entire turkey and rub it in,” Sous-chef Robert Lucero said. “We then rub on mayonnaise, followed by another sprinkle of seasoning and put it in the oven.”

“The mayonnaise holds in the moisture and gives the turkey this beautiful brown color,” Niemela added.

In the large convection ovens at Tim’s Toyota Center, the 20 to 24 pound turkeys cook for three hours. The chefs and other kitchen staff carve the turkeys and separate the white meat from the dark. Cooking stock made from the turkey carcass is poured over the meat, then flash frozen. Niemela said on Christmas Eve, he will pull the pans out of the freezer to thaw, and bright and early on Christmas morning he will re-heat the turkey, place them in rolling heat lockers and truck them to St. Luke’s Episcopal Church on Ruger Road just off Highway 89 north of the Prescott Airport.

Lucero and assistant Roberto Lopez

“In the past, the members of the church cooked the turkeys in their own kitchens with their own spices and recipes,” Niemela said. “By doing them all here in a controlled environment, we can serve the most consistent looking turkeys in the cleanest and safest way possible.”

Don’t Spend Christmas Alone organizers are expecting nearly 1,000 meals will be served at the church or delivered to the homebound throughout the Prescott area. Quite a change from the first Don’t Spend Christmas Alone dinner in 1980.

“I recall we had 45 to 50 people that first year and maybe 65 the second,” parishioner Barbara Harber said. “We served mainly the homeless, but we always invited those who are alone. They feel just as bad on Christmas day as the homeless.”

From 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., hundreds of volunteers from St. Luke’s Episcopal and other churches and organizations will serve complete turkey dinners with all the trimmings, various flavors of pie and homemade fudge for dessert, and coffee and other drinks. Holsom Bread Company, once again, will supply the rolls.

And the dinner is free.

St. Luke’s members and personnel from the Prescott Fire Department will deliver meals to the homebound, and shuttle busses between the church and the Prescott Albertson’s will transport those without their own transportation.

For more information, to schedule a meal delivery or to volunteer, call St. Luke’s Episcopal Church at 778-4499.

Attaining the Unattainable

I was among 60 people who created MATForce, a volunteer coalition to reduce drug and alcohol abuse in Yavapai County, Arizona. After formulating a mission statement, the group developed a three-year action plan. Since youth are MATForce’s primary focus, I stressed the need to reemphasize the importance of preserving the family unit.

The numbers are scary.

• The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services states, "Fatherless children are at a dramatically greater risk of drug and alcohol abuse." 
• Children growing up in single-parent households are at a significantly increased risk for drug abuse as teenagers.
• Children who live apart from their fathers are 4.3 times more likely to smoke cigarettes as teenagers than children growing up with their fathers in the home.

These are only three of a long list of equally dire statistics.

Earlier this year – MATForce’s fourth year – the members of the Executive Committee and most of the original 60 met to review the coalition’s progress and draft new three-year and five-year plans. Preservation of the Family Unit was the only item in the original plan not addressed and is not in any form in the two future plans.

“Tightening up divorce laws is an area where we won’t succeed; it’s unattainable,” more than one Executive Committee member told me.

Man soaring like a bird was once “unattainable.” We now jet through the sky all around the world without thinking twice about it.

A human being standing on the moon was once “unattainable.” Between 1969 and 1972, 12 men left their footprints on Earth’s natural satellite.

Having a man-made object leave our solar system was once “unattainable.” In 1990, Voyager 1 and Voyager 2 flew past the orbits of Neptune and Pluto.

"Unattainable" is not impossible, just difficult. How we look at that difficulty determines how successful we will be.

Thomas Alva Edison reportedly had 10,000 failures before finding that one combination that resulted in the electric light bulb.

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work,” Edison said. “Many of life’s failures are men who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

As we approach 1-1-11, are you going to be one of the millions who will fail, or are you going to be the one who will attain the unattainable?

The Man Box

I’ve had people tell me, “What you just said was so wise; so enlightening.”

I’ve had people tell me, “I learned so much from that article you wrote. Your writing just speaks to my heart.”

Nice compliments. I politely and humbly thank them, and say something like “I’m glad I was able to help you in some way.” What I do not tell them is, “I’m not as smart as you think.”

Below is a link to a presentation from a man who is heads and shoulders, leaps and bounds, infinitely wiser than I. My friends – and especially my male friends – please dedicate about 30 minutes to watch this clip more than once.

Special thanks to one of my “dad” friends, Danny Grubb, proprietor of GladDads.com.

http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html