I am pretty flexible. Doing something different or going someplace else unexpectedly usually doesn’t bother me.
But I refuse to break my vow to never, ever, EVER miss or mess up my visitation times with my son, Nikolas. That means, unfortunately, that others have to be flexible for me.When Nick was born in 2000, I couldn’t wait to be The Best Dad Ever every day of the year. When Nick’s mom broke up our family unit, I had to adjust that dream though I did not plan to do so.
It is not Nick’s fault that his mother and father live in different homes in different states. He should not have been put in this position in the first place, but, thanks to his mother, he is. Nick loves his father as much as he loves his mother, and my job is to make sure he has no reason to change his feelings about me.
Currently, I am working on the arrangements for Nick’s and my Spring Break time March 26 through April 3. The perception is the scales of justice are balanced, but the Indiana court system is tremendously biased toward mothers. I am required to finance and to physically escort Nick between Indiana and Arizona and back. The quickest means of transportation is flying, but like everything else the cost to fly is extravagant. And Hendricks County (Indiana) Supreme Court Judge Donald Coleman doesn’t give a damn.
In 2009, my annual income dropped more than $30,000 as I moved from management level salary to monthly Social Security Disability income. I appealed to the court for financial relief in the form of Nick flying under the airline’s Unaccompanied Minor program. I offered to pay for it, but Judge Coleman ruled that while the actual escorting could be done by either Nick’s mother or either one or both of my parents, I still had to pay for all of it.
I buy tickets for two round-trip flights. The first is for me alone flying from Phoenix to Indianapolis and back to Phoenix. The second round-trip – entirely within the dates of the first round-trip – is for Nick and me from Indianapolis to Phoenix and back to Indianapolis. I am buying airplane tickets for three people – me twice and Nick once.
As I write this, the price for airplane tickets this coming Spring Break is nearly $1,700. That is quite a bit more than I receive monthly from Social Security. This time, my parents are able to pay a chunk of that cost, which I deeply appreciate. I am covering the difference.
Nick will spend his Spring Break week with me in Arizona, but the financial burden is great and is growing. My parents are retired and on their own fixed income. They have their own needs, responsibilities and plans they have to finance. There also are the sacrifices my vow to Nick places on my significant-other, Amy. I previously mentioned on this blog site how I take more from Amy than I give. When I’m pinching pennies to pay for transportation for my visitation times, Amy covers my personal needs – washing clothes, buying food, providing a roof over my head. I do what I can in other ways, but what I do for Amy does not compare to what she does for me.
Until Nick’s mom allows Nick to fly by himself, which I anticipate will not be until Nick’s 37th birthday, I – along with Amy, Mom and Dad – will take on this sacrifice three times a year. I know the court is not going to help me.
Nick will always be my son, and I will always be his father. I will always, always, ALWAYS love him. Making sure Nick knows that is priceless.
