Why Teenagers Should Not Get Jobs

I was chatting with my friend Beth the other day about the difficulties I have traveling. My son’s Spring Break is coming up and I will be on four flights between Phoenix and Indianapolis the next two weekends.

The people at both airports, even the never-smiling TSA security agents, do what they can to make my trips as painless as possible. People working at hotels are a different story.

Me at the Grand Canyon on Oct.4, 2008

Amy and I attend a local charity’s annual dinner and auction. It’s our one time a year to dress up and “hob-nob” with the financially well-off. In 2008, Amy was the high-bidder for an overnight stay in a suite at the El Tovar, the 100-year-old hotel on the rim at the Grand Canyon.

While finalizing the reservations, we told the representative over the phone that we would exchange the suite for a handicap accessible room on the first floor. The only time we would be in the suite was while we were sleeping. All the rest of the time, we would be outside staring at the Grand Canyon.

Working the registration desk the day we got there was this teeny-bopper girl no more than age 22.

“Okay, you’re all set. You’ll be in Suite 263 just up those stairs and down the hall,” she said bubbly. Note that I am sitting on my handicap scooter at the time.

“We reserved a handicap accessible room on the first floor,” Amy responded.

“We don’t have any suites on the first floor,” was the answer.

In my attempt to make things easier, I told the reservation desk girl that we’ll take the suite on the second floor if she would direct us to the elevator. I got this “Lost in Space” blank stare.

In each episode of the late 1960’s television show, the robot would frantically wave its arms and say, “Does not compute. Does not compute.” That is what this chicky’s face was “saying” to me.

The owners of the El Tovar used the historic structure loophole in the Americans with Disabilities Act to get out of installing an elevator. After checking with the desk manager, she looked at me (remember I’m sitting on my scooter) and said “I’m sorry. We don’t have an elevator.”

“Then how does my scooter get ‘up the stairs and down the hall’?” I asked.

“Oh we have bell boys for that,” was the bubbly reply.

“You have a bell boy who can carry my scooter – WITH ME SITTING ON IT – up those stairs and down the hall?” I asked.

Once again, all I saw was “Does not compute. Does not compute.”

“That is why we need to have a room on the first floor,” Amy said.

And “Einstein” here replied, “But we don’t have suites on the first floor.”