Spinning the Size of Pizza

Amy’s tummy was feeling snarky the other day, so I was on my own for dinner.

We were out of hot dogs. The milk supply was too low for a couple of bowls of cereal. The weather was too cold and rainy to go out for burgers or tacos.

What to do?

I could cook. Yeah. Right.

Ah ha - Pizza! And the pizza place delivers!

Calling in my order reminded me of the “unique” (ie: weird) way pizza places identify the pizzas they serve.

Back in my bachelor days, I lived on pizza. In the days before the “personal pan” size, an 8-slice small pizza filled me up. The place I would usually call served a small, a medium and a large. One day, the teenager on the end of the line said, “We don’t have ‘Small’ anymore. We now only have ‘Medium’ and ‘Large’.”

“That’s not logically possible,” I responded. “When you take away one of the ends (in this case the small), then the middle becomes that particular end.”

She didn’t understand.

I played the “Befuddle the Pizza Kid” game a few times until I just started ordering a medium pizza. Everything was fine, until the day I called a different pizza place for a change of pace.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have ‘Medium’ here,” I heard over the phone. “We just have ‘Small’, ‘Large’ and ‘Extra-Large’.”