Today - May 17, 2011 – is the 20th anniversary of my 29th birthday. For those who are mathematically challenged, that means I’m now 49.
It wasn’t that long ago that I thought someone age 49 was old, antique and practically prehistoric. They were beyond over the hill. They were facing the sunset. They were on the on-deck circle of heaven.Now that I’m one of “Them”, I'm learning my assumptions were wrong. Or were they?
I’m looking forward to using the discounts that go with AARP membership. My Medicare health insurance coverage begins in a few months. I’m not freaking out over my grey hairs. I’m preferring to have my “big meal of the day” between 3 p.m. and 4:30 p.m. followed by cheese, crackers, apple slices and milk around 8 p.m. I’m making sure my diet has enough fiber. I’m catching myself dozing in my recliner before the weather portion of the 10 p.m. news.
A couple of weeks ago, Amy and I left a friend’s birthday party at 7:30 p.m. because we wanted to be home before dark. I’m squirreling away information and personal reviews of my area’s assisted-living communities for future reference. My friends’ children are having children. I’m actually enjoying listening to the oldie’s station.
Speaking of music, I don’t understand the songs kids are listening to these days. And why do they have the volume so loud?!
I’m determined to not get old without a fight. I refuse to learn the rules to Bridge or Cribbage. I’m making sure my belt goes around my waist and not my chest. I will not wear black orthopedic socks and patent leather loafers with khaki shorts and a white button-down dress shirt. I’m secretly using Amy’s Mary Kay moisturizing cream to cover up my wrinkles and crow’s feet.
My memory is still good. I can’t recall the last time I forgot something. Yes, sir, I am as Sharp as a Tack!
Wait a minute. “Sharp as a Tack” is something old people say. Old people also say “Life begins at 50.”
Cool, man! 50 is only 365 days away.
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